Kiss Me Never

I miss everyone. Please, what happened? Am I seriously that boring? I wasn't aware it was that extreme. So my birthday was the 21st of April and that was nice. And yesterday we had the big music department trip to Busch Gardens which was nice as well. However, the bus ride back (about three hours) was absolutely horrid. I sat in the back of the bus with a bunch of people that I call my friends, although I'm not so sure that they're worthy of being my friends anymore. Sorry if that sounds conceited, but it's true. See, first we played truth or dare and that was fun and all until all the dares got to be: "Kiss so-and-so." (This totally annoying dude who I would willingly kick in the face kissed my cheek when I wasn't paying attention; ew.) Then I backed out of the game. Sadly, everyone was gathered basically where my seat was so I couldn't exactly escape it. And then, to my utter horror, they started playing spin-the-bottle with an empty plastic bottle. Then people got bored of that since the bottle wouldn't spin right (hello, we're on a moving bus) so they put slips of paper in a hat with people's names on them and you had to kiss that person. Everyone was making out and I felt so sick watching it. And they were daring people to give another person lap dances and such. Gah, even thinking about it now makes me want to hurl. This one boy, Jack, who I've always thought was totally sweet and not "that guy" made out with every girl and sat on every one of their laps. That actually made me sad since Jack's a good friend. They were like humping the seats and UGH. Finally, they moved up a few rows so I lay down on the floor so Elena (who was not part of the game) could sleep on the seats and I could lay beside a heat vent. But I could still hear them talking and that totally did not make me feel any less-sick.



I was so shocked last night, actually. I had no idea that my "friends" or really anyone in the grade was like that. We're fourteen, for Heaven's sake! And they're going around practically having sex on the bus. They have no self-respect. I do not understand how that is rational or acceptable in any culture. And the principal for our grade sat on the bus, listening to what they were saying. Apparently, America is full of sex-craved teenagers with no self-discipline. It makes me absolutely sick. I really don't know if I can ever talk to these people the same way again.

Even thinking about last night makes me want to go take a shower. Does that behavior make sense in any modern society? Or rationally? I can't see how that makes them happy, proud, or comfortable. I get so uncomfortable talking about sex-related things (it almost killed me to write those words, if that fact is any consolation) that I don't get how you can just start Frenching someone because of a game. I'm just an innocent little child, but then again, they should be, too. I'm actually missing Ben since he's the one guy who almost never says anything perverted (despite the fact that all we ever do is argue) and I could never see acting like my friends on the bus last night.

I am going to be a lip-virgin until I am in college, I swear. I'm already going to be a virgin until I'm married, I will never have alcohol in my life, and I will be that crazy cat lady down the street when I'm seventy.

Maybe Brenda and I are the only people who are truly shocked by that behavior, but all I can say now is that I have officially lost any innocence I had left.


~Disgusted