My next class was Spanish (A.K.A. “The Twitchy Class”), which was the one class Bill wasn’t in with me. And it was also the one I needed him most in.
The tables are arranged in groups, and we always have to work in our groups. I have the worst table.
“Hi, Kia,” this really creepy guy said. He sounds like a stalker when he talks. I don’t know how, but you can totally see him being a pedophile. I twitched. My creepy stalker, Geoff.
“Kia, will you marry me?” this other guy said. He took my hand. I jerked it away from him. “I love you,” he then declared. My infatuated stalker, Brandon.
“He loves you,” the guy who sits across from me, Ned, whispered.
“I love you too, Kia,” the creepy stalker said.
“I love you more,” my infatuated stalker said.
“I hate your shirt,” Ned said distastefully. I ignored all of them.
“I love you so much,” Brandon said, stroking my hair softly. My hand, which was holding my pencil, tightened and the pencil snapped in half. “Oh, do you need a new pencil? I know you can’t resist me.” I twitched.
“You can’t resist his body,” Ned whispered again. I glared at him.
“Te amo, Kia,” Brandon sighed.
“Te odio,” I snapped. He tried to look hurt.
“I love you so much, you’re so hot.” I twitched.
“So hot,” Ned whispered. My hand shot in the air.
“Senorita, may I get some water?” I asked.
“Of course.” She nodded. I stumbled out of the room and to the water fountain. I hate Spanish. After taking a moment to let myself calm down, I got a drink then turned unwillingly back towards the direction of my classroom.
“Was the water cold?” Geoff asked. “Was it good? Did it run down your smooth throat like ice? Was it amazing? I could go get you water next time.” I calculated how big the window was compared to how big I was. Crap. I could never fit. “If you want, I could put ice in it. My hand is cold like ice. You wanna hold it? Do you like cold? I know I do. I wanna see you cold.”
Ned looked at me with a “W.T.F.” expression. I twitched in response.
“Are you cold? Here, I’ll come give you a hug.” Geoff started to get out of the chair.
“Don’t touch my baby!” Brandon put his arm around me.
“I don’t think she’s your baby,” Ned pointed out, finally getting slightly freaked out by their behavior.
“If you don’t let go of me in the next two seconds, you will die,” I hissed.
“She’s my honey bun,” Brandon said, moving to kiss me. I shoved him out of his chair. He didn’t stay on the floor long, getting back up a few seconds later.
“Alright, we’ll wait until we’re in private,” he said, as if agreeing with something I said. He put his arm around me again.
“I hope you’re not planning to reproduce.” I muttered darkly, trying to shrug off his arm.
“You and me, baby!”
“Sexual harassment!” I yelled. “He’s going to rape me! Help, help!”
“Kia,” the teacher warned.
“He’s touching me,” I wailed. Brandon quickly removed his arm. Everyone was staring at us by now.
So I'll try to post from my dad's computer but I doubt it because he doesn't know I have a blog and would probably not aprrove.
Ha! I don't have to go to school tomorrow or Wednesday! That means I get to miss FLE (basically Sex Ed.)!!! And English when we read this stupid play. It's not even good, it's this rediculous thing from a kid's magazine about the Cherokee language. So stupid.
Bye everyone!
2 comments:
were the hell are you going to be ill come and see u!??!?!?!??!??!? ok sorry, a little vulger! you have to come to montgomery, even if it is the butthole of the universe!!!!1
Alanna, this is EXACTLY HOW FRENCH GOES
EVERY SINGLE DAY
except its more like
"Hey, Sarah, do you want to touch my abs?"
"No thanks. I'm good on touching strange places on people's bodies who I don't like."
"Does that mean you touch yourself?"
"I swear to god, eric, if you don't move away from me you are going to wake up very confused in the middle of the Gold's Gym across the street."
then he leaves me alone for about five minutes.
"Sarah, you're my best friend."
"Whatever."
"Am I your best friend?"
"No."
"WHY NOT? MADAME COYLE! SARAH'S BEING MEAN!"
"Eric, shut the f**k up. I'm 100% serious."
ughhhh.
-the snydddd-
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