,.;:^*"*^:;.,.;:^*"*^:;.,.;:^*"*^:;.,

And we conspire
That which love cannot permit
Burning deeper than hell's fire
Until the dying breath

The Verdict

Well, I truly believe that the system has failed. My friend has to do 20-40 hours of community service, and a time period for that will be set at a hearing. And she's being banned from the store for a year. Dammit, what the hell is wrong with this? INNOCENT UNTIL BEING PROVEN GUILTY, YOU BAST*RDS!

Those Summer Nights

God, I am so angry. An hour ago, I was about to be taken to juvenile detention because my friend accidentally walked out of Claires with a bracelet on. The people said that if we didn't leave, we'd be hauled over to juvie too. I hate them. All those f*cking idiots did was glare at us resentfully until Kira started crying, then they only looked insensitive. I don't give a sh*it about protocol. We sat in the corner of Claires for over an hour trying not to cry. I was trying so f*cking hard not to be a bitch and just snap, "God, can't we go? It's a mistake. BIG F*CKING DEAL." And when Kira said that her parents didn't have cell phones, they didn't believe her. Seriously?! Why would we make up lies so that we could be held there even longer? It's rediculous. You know how people say innocent until proven guilty? I would love to see that be true. While we may not be banned from Claires, I am never setting foot in one of those stores again. If we'd been some Hollister-wearing preppy girls, they would have let us go. But no, since everyone has to label us as crimminals, we have to stay. I'm so on edge right now. I was shaking so hard I could barely dial my cell phone to call my dad. And after we left, I nearly started crying because I didn't want Kira to be alone. Then we sat on Kira's front porch for probably half an hour while my mom called around to make sure Kira got picked up. When I got home, my dad oh-so-innocently said, "Well at least it wasn't you." God dammit, I wish it had been me instead of Kira. Then she wouldn't have had to go through this. I hate it. I hate the system so much. If Kira had been trying to steal it, wouldn't she have taken the tag off? Or ran when they said to come back? On that note, who tres to steal a snap bracelet? The thing wasn't even four dollars! Dammit, I'm so angry! I'm angry at everything! At the store, at the employees, at the policemen, at the system, at myself! I wish I hadn't called my dad. I wish I'd been hauled off to juvenile detention with my friends.

THIS IS THE WORST F*CKING SUMMER EVER. Tomorrow I'm going to break my leg, I bet. I've already gotten rid of my dog, burned my hand, bruised my knees, sprained my ankle, been questioned by the police, become partially-insomiatic, and been yelled at way too many times to count. Screw life. Screw the world.

~Pissed Off

Usual MishMash

Seriously? Firefox crashes every other time I send an email or even attempt to view my blog. So, for a little while, I'll be using Internet Explorer. Anyways, in an attempt to not to babble about my horrid summer, I'll post an excerpt of my sequel.

CHAPTER 43 EXCERPT

Kira was back. She is around twenty now, her hair flowing down to her waist. The horse- excuse me, unicorn- still looks the same as before.
“Too late to not die,” she says, as usual. This time, however, I’m ready. As the horse stomps its feet to begin running, I grab on and fling my body over the horse’s back, oddly nimble in my dream form. Kira shouts but it’s too late. The horse careens into the dark wood, jumping over fallen logs with unearthly grace.
“What are you doing?” Kira shrieks, horror crossing her face.
“Shut up!” I scream, holding onto her tighter. Branches whip past my face until finally, we emerge from the forest. This side of the wood is a stark opposite of the meadow. It’s a large city. People gather in the streets, perfectly quiet. The horse slows to a trot as we begin to make our way down the main street. Rows and rows of people of all ages lined the sides of the road, all peering in front of us. I peek around and my jaw drops. Three tanks rumble down the road, appearing out of no where. Behind them are lines and lines more, each of them black and menacing. We move the horse to the side of the road, wedging into the entrance of a bank. I slide off, Kira landing lightly beside me.
“What is this?” I ask.
“It’s what’s going to happen if you don’t stop everything.” Kira’s now-green eyes shine with passion.
“So I can see the future now?”
“Everyone can,” she gives me a despairing look, “it’s foreseeable. It doesn’t take genius to guess what’s going to happen.” We watch the parade of tanks, followed by regimes of soldiers. They march in their black uniforms, an armband on their upper arm. The symbol on the accessory was something like this:

“What does it mean?” I ask Kira. She shrugs.
“Who knows? It’s one of those symbols that’s invented that just takes on a meaning. I suppose this one is fear. It instills fear into the very hearts of our people.”
“I can't stop this,” I said shakily, watching jets stream past overhead. Kira and I watch the sky for a few more minutes before she speaks.

Okay, there. Go to random page, find random excerpt. Continuing what I've been doing for the past few days, I'm going to post a picture. Hm...what to post? Something of Kiro, I think. Would everyone kill me if I posted all the pictures I have of him? Haha!

Okay, so I held back and only posted three. Anyways, I realize that most of my posts are a mishmash of news and obsessions and excerpts, but (for some inexplicable reason) I feel the need to share my life with all of you online. It's completely irrational, as no one uses Blogger anymore, and not very safe, but I enjoy it.

~Scream 'Till You Believe It

Mistakes

Yes, I have erred. Foolishly, I gave my brother's friend my cell number (Griffin's actually not that bad of a kid, and he does not have a crush on me for those who might take the "cell number" statement in a different way) on the same day that Jack and Griffin went to West Virginia; a common activity for them. Now, I am being inundated with texts from my brother and his best friend (who, I swear, is Jack's twin, only slightly more pleasant). Greeeaaat. Like my summer could get any worse *knock on wood*. I swear, this summer's going to be epically suckish. I've already bruised my knees to the point where it's hard to bend then or sleep in certain positions. I'm getting an average of about two hours of sleep every night, I'm bored, I'm lonely, and I cannot find my yearbook which has my friend's new email in it.





You know, I bet you all are getting annoyed by my self-oriented blathering. Yeesh, I've been complaining on Blogger for about a week! Starting tomorrow, no selfish whining. Also, no lazing around.





Picture time! This is a drawing of mine from exactly a week ago, if I'm not mistaken.



I also wanted to post something that Brenda sent me earlier from some site and I thought it was really pretty. I rearranged the formatting on it, though.

Three cheers:

To all the fucked up fuck-ups, to all the damned, to those lost, alone and left behind.

To our greatest joys and deepest sorrows.

To our demons.

To death in brutal perfection.

I am what lies on the other end of your last breath.

I am just another skeleton in the closet, just another ghost in the dark.

Let us never, to lost minds, admit insanity.

Let us never, to revenge, admit defeat.

For life has turned to madness and nothing is sane but dying.

Voila.

~Three Cheers For: EVERYONE WHO STOOD BY ME

Sleepless Nights, Nightmare Dreams

Hello, I decided to post a resolution to my guitar/amp issues yesterday. I'm putting pictures below, but first I wanted to say: THANK YOU AMANDA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I probably would have driven myself mad with this but you gave me great recommendations for guitars/amps. Not quite sure if these are the same as yours, but...yeah. Thank you so much!

Squier Affinity Series Stratocaster:

Line 6 Spider III 15 15W 1x8 Amplifier:

>>Hurrah! The nightmare is over! Well, not exactly a nightmare considering I haven't slept a wink in over 24 hours. I seriously laid in bed all night a was bored as hell. Then, at about 4am, I went downstairs to the kitchen and sat on the floor and read for an hour. Then I went upstairs and wandered for twenty minutes. Next, I decided I was hungry and got a bowl of cereal. So at about 5:30, my mom comes downstairs (bleary-eyed and so not awake) and says, "You have such weird sleep habits." She turns off the kitchen light (I was in the dining area and had that light on) and goes upstairs. After that, I wandered around and did random things (such as spinning in the office chair, playing with string, blowing air at my cat, and playing the piano on my desk) until 6:30am when my parents finally woke up. Then they yelled at me for not sleeping (how's that my fault? I didn't do it purposely!) and so I went back to my room and sulked. Kidding. I read my book.

>>My sleeping has been off lately. Wednesday I got about two hours of sleep since I actually did have a nightmare (a tale I will tell later). Thursday I got nearly eleven hours. And then last night, nada. Zippo. All I can say is thank GOD that I am very good at entertaining myself with my superb daydreaming abilities.

>>I'm listening to "Angels On The Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I had my doubts about this group because the only song I'd heard was" "Hey Lady" on iTunes. I have to admit, the singer's a high one. And he's got a very different voice. But listening to "Angels On The Moon" has really impressed me. They've got serious talent and what some might pass off as a horrible band just based off the singer's high voice makes them all the more unique and likable. "Long Hallway With A Broken Light" is also very good. They're a breath of fresh air in this mostly-generic music industry. I defy anyone to find a band that sounds even remotely like Thriving Ivory.

>>Alright, now I'm listening to "Causa Y Efecto" by Paulina Rubio. I'm definitely not into English pop, but I don't mind German, Spanish, French, or Japanese mainstream stuff. Mostly because that's all they have on iTunes. As long as it's not rap. *shudder* Hate rap.... Or "Hip-Hop" or whatever those people call it. I call it stupid, rhyming crap. It's like kindergarten songs with sex and drugs, in my opinion.

>>In other news, my computer's being a nuisance and blocking things it hasn't blocked before (Hulu, Hot Topic). It's so frustrating! Also, I have come up with a wonderful bridge for a song I'm working on (one of many). I'm not sure whether or not to use the German words or the English ones. I originally wrote it in German, but the English ones are also good.

>>>Ich habe Angst nicht zu leben (I am not afraid to live)<<<
>>>Wenn auch ich sterben werde (Even though I will die)<<<

>>>Wie wird mein Vermächtnis sein? (What will be my legacy?)<<<

I tell you, it is damn frustrating to get all the stupid accent marks when you're typing on Microsoft Office Word. You have to spend nearly five minutes on it.

>>Alright, I think I'm done. I've spent way too much time on this post! Adieu, mes amis!

>>>EDIT: Blogger's being weird and won't let me have seperate paragraphs.... Sorry! Now it's not organized whatsoever!

>>>>EDIT 2: Ha! Blogger can't ignore those stupid, annoying little arrows, now can it?!

Fender's Squier Stratocaster And Other News

It has now been one official week of utter monotony.... Can't wait for camp. Wish my life was more exciting. Michael Jackson died; that's perhaps the biggest thing that's happened all summer. And I spent all day looking at guitars. Finally decided on getting a Squier Stratocaster by Fender. It's cheaper than an American Stratocaster *daydreams about having one* but still nice enough to serve the purpose of playing it. Actually, my dream is having a Gibson Les Paul *drools*. And a Fender Kingman wouldn't be too bad either. It's the only acoustic guitar I like.

Guitars I WILL HAVE once I make some money (off my book?? *crosses fingers*) :

-Fender Kingman

-Gibson Les Paul

-Fender American Stratocaster

After spending all day looking at guitars, I am still yet to find an amp. My guitar now is pretty suckish, which is why I'm looking for a new one. The one I have now is an acoustic (which is why I don't have an amp); I've had it since fourth grade. I spent like ten minutes looking at amps then pretty much gave up...I never realized that amps are way more expensive than the guitars you need them for.

Hopefully my parents will be paying for the guitar/amp combo. I mean, I got a good deal on the Squier Strat (about $180), but amps are a little harder. I want to get a nice amp that I don't have to replace in like six months....

Another reason for the choice of the Squier Strat was that they're pretty sturdy. Since I typically brandish my guitar and pesky little boys and threaten to hit them with it, I need something that at least looks like it could kill one of them. Plus, I am very clumsy and probably will end up dropping it off the stairs by accident (I'm not hoping that will happen, but it's a sad fact of life).

As far as amps go (yes, back on the subject of amps again), I really want something less expensive than the guitar. That should be problematic. The only amp I found that was less than the guitar was a Fender Frontman 25 R, which looks okay, but I could probably find better.

I actually spent about four hours looking at different guitars when I finally said "screw it" and asked Amanda what kind of guitar she had (thanks, by the way). Since her guitar is amazing and very pretty, I figured that it would be better to get a recommendation from a friend rather than a person on the internet. (On a side note, why is the spell-check telling me to capitalize "internet?" I wasn't aware that it was a proper noun. Hm....)

Alrighty, I should probably get going and log off the computer so I can get some reading done. But first, a picture of Kiro (Cinema Bizarre) to make me happy!!!! Ah, hell, I'll just post my background picture!!! (Kiro, Yu, Strify)

:) Yes, I'm a little obsessive.

To Keep Them On Their Toes

Basically, it's been a stupid day. Not horrible, not boring, not exciting, not good. Just stupid. First, I burned two of the fingers on my left hand, leading to the inability to type this post efficiently. Second, I, once again, watched The Crow all day because my father will not allow me to watch Gladiator. Seriously, the blood and gore stuff does NOT bother me. When will he understand that? Next, I found out that my sixth grade brother (Jack) is taller than me. Talk about embarassing. On the lines of tallness and my lack of it, here is where the memebers of my family fall in the height/weight chart for thair ages:

Mom (44): 69th percentile
Dad (50): 90th percentile
Jesse (24): 94th percentile
Jack (12): 90th percentile
Sam (5): 98th percentile


ME (14): 37th percentile

Oh, great. I get to be the short one. I am BELOW AVERAGE. That is, undeniably, great for my self-esteem. Ha. Ha.

More stupidness: my knees are both bruised from my little tumble yesterday. And my arm, apparently. Which means I cannot finish practicing my TaeKwonDo moves and get on with learning the Yul-Gok pattern. Great.

~Hating Stupid Genetics

Summer Days Drifting Away

So here I am, siting in the basement with my brother, watching Valkyrie. It's about a plot to assassinate Hitler, a plot conceived by German officers and political figures. What I find interesting about the title, however, is that the Valkyrie were female deities (in Scandinavian mythology) who lead men who died in battle to the god Odin, where they became spirits. Technically, the operation that the men are carrying out is called "walküre," which, in German, translates to valkyrie. On that note, its historical accuracy is all wrong. As the men are German (Nazi) generals, they should be speaking German. At least they're saying "Heil Hitler." And, when they're at this party, the music's in German. Something I cannot complain about: I know most of the actors - a rare occurrence for me. A good few of them are from Pirates of the Caribbean. Then there's one from Yes Man. And, of course, Tom Cruise; recognizable from the very beginning.

I'm feeling quite critical today.

Apart from the movie I'm semi-watching, I've done nothing of real use today. I watched nearly every episode of The Crow again, taking small breaks to learn new TaeKwonDo kicks (I think I killed my left ankle from doing to many Front Snap & Side Kick Combinations and Mid-Air Front Snap Kicks). In addition, I'm also perfecting the art of Self-Hypnosis.

Seriously, I am so bored. The only real high point of my day was when I discovered a spider on the ceiling of the shower. I got out without washing my face, and dressed in about five seconds. Then, being me, I was in such a rush to get away from the spider that I tripped on my PJ pant leg and slid nearly five feet; right into a door. That's right, people: LAUGH. See how funny it is when I'm standing beside your bed with a giant kitchen knife. Kidding. Sort of.

Okay, this movie's boring. All I see is Tom Cruise trying to be a Nazi, and Lord Beckett (Pirates 2-3: Tom Hollander) trying to be one as well. *sigh* My life is so hard.

In refrence to the title: I just [conciously] realized that it's from Grease. Which, naturally, leads me to camp. Which then leads my mind to the skit we did our first week. Remember, Sarah? You got to be What's-His-Name. Danny. And Richie got to be Sandy! Good times (but painful memories (loaning all our clothing to the guys- yes, ALL))

~Bored

Fangirliness

Hm...I don't really know what to post about. Summer's already boring, and I already miss school even though we got out like three days ago. I'm watching episodes of "The Crow" over and over again...the dude who plays The Crow/Eric (Mark Dacascos) is actually very good-looking...and very ninja-ish. I've seen other pictures of him from different things he's done and I have to say that he looks waaay better with the long hair. Or, as Susannah would say: "Muy, muy sexy!" At first, was a little dubious since he looks nothing like the character in the graphic novel. But after a while, he just kinda gets better-looking. And the martial-arts probably adds to his hotness.

Well, I guess I figured out what this post is about. *giggle* He's even better-looking as The Crow. *more giggles* *falls off bed*

At least this is healthier for me than watching the "Forever Or Never" video by Cinema Bizarre for three hours straight. I get to expand my self-defense moves...except a few of them which might require gym mats and more space to learn.

The show isn't that bad once you push the graphic novel out of your mind. It's definitely different, but not bad. Well...except for the "Blackfeather" episode..."I AM BLACKFEATHER *BRANDISHES SCISSORS*" Haha. Meh, but at least he's shirtless for most of the episode.

I hate feeling like a fangirl. Most of the time it's over "androgynous" guys like Kiro, or Strify, or Bill. Now it's over a "guy guy."

Okay, I'm going now. :P

Before We Say Goodbye

You'd think I'd be used to it. Saying goodbye, I mean. I've moved every few years, so I would like to say that I'm a pro. But God, I can never get used to it. Each goodbye cuts deeper and deeper, like there's no other cuts that are threatening to tear your heart to shreds. Even if you know that you'll see this person again, it pulls on your heart. And when it comes to people whom you know you'll never see again, it tears pieces of your heart away.

Why does it have to be this way? I don't think I have very much of a heart left. Whenever I leave, I leave parts of my heart behind.

This life was better with you here
I know it will take some time to fully heal
Before I say Goodbye

Passion Taught Us To Live

Why do we have to grow up? Socially, I mean. I understand that we must physically mature, and mentally mature, but why must everything else change? Has anyone noticed how we spend our teenage years trying to act twenty-one, and once we're older than that, we spend all our time trying to look that age still? And it starts at such an early age! Little girls are wearing makeup and stuff, something I didn't start doing until last year. Six year olds don't need to be wearing mascara. What ever happened to "enjoy your childhood?" When I was younger, I thought I had a lot of time to still be a kid. Mind you, this was back in like 1st and 2nd grade. Truth is, you're only a kid for a short period of time.

Perhaps I grew up faster than I was supposed to. I had to deal with moving every few years, my dad fighting in wars, and my mother never being there. I had to learn how to take care of myself for the most part. Maybe that's why I enjoyed reading. I never had a parent to talk to, so I read. I felt such a connection to the characters, and was happy to read about everything that they did. My parents, on the other hand, can't even tell me what they did in college. Top secret stuff.

In September, when school starts, it'll be my ninth school. Ninth grade, ninth school. I'm not quite sure how that worked out. I've only been to two schools for more than one year. That makes me so sad.

I'm getting off-topic. What I really wanted to say was that I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not. In a year, I'll be able to drive (learner's permit). In four years, I'll be moving out. God, time moves so fast. One second you're waking up, the next you're falling asleep. One minute you're in Europe, the next, you're in America. One moment you're running, the next you're sitting. One day you're sure that he's the one, the next you're burning his picture. One week you're about to scream, the next you're about to laugh. One month you're excited, the next you're frustrated. One year you're ready to jump off a building, the next you're holding onto life with everything you've got.

Then there's that feeling. One where you want to scream, want to cry, want to kiss with your whole heart. You feel empty. A throbbing, yet numb hole in your chest. Longing.

I wish I could hold onto passed moments. All I have now is this second. Look, I wasted a second misspelling something. And another typing that. And another. One more passes. Two more pass. Three. Four. When does it stop?! Five. Six. Seven. It's flying by. Eight. Nine. Ten.

What if they were years? Did you waste your time on trivial things? Or did you savor those moments? Hm? Did you value your life? When you're a second from death, are you going to think about your wasted time? Or will you say: "I did everything I ever wanted to," with your dying breath? WILL YOU WASTE YOUR LAST BREATH TO SAY WHAT FEW CAN TRUTHFULL SAY? WHAT WILL BE YOUR LAST WORDS? Will you leave a legacy, or a pained memory?

This is the only life we have. I can spend as much time as I want wanting to be younger, but I won't ever let myself forget the current moment. I can dwell on things late at night, when there is nothing I'm able to do.

I won't let fear stop me from grabbing hold of every moment. I want to be able to say that I didn't waste my life.

Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen.

Are you running yet?

Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen.

Don't stop and catch your breath. Keep going, and grab onto everything you hold dear.

Ninteen.

Maybe you'll make mistakes. But you made them. Don't dwell on them. Take a chance and make up for it.

Twenty.

Lies and Rumors

Rumors. They come from everywhere, but no where at the same time. They are whispers in the air. No one knows where they're started; no one knows how they know. It's the axiom of rumor-spreading. It's what makes them hang around for so long. Frustrating, right? No. The eternal conundrum of lies and truth woven so tightly together is unlike anything that us humans could thin up. Why they are so appealing, no one is quite sure. We are, by nature, social creatures. But the reason that we spread lies is unfathomable. We spread the lies, but feel betrayed when a rumor about us comes along. Is there a reason that we're so selfish? We are greedy. We enjoy that brief feeling of power. Somehow, we are unable to control it no matter how hard we try.

Okay, I don't really know why I wrote that.

Falling Deeper And Deeper

I want to throw kitchen knives at targets. I want to kick a wall until it caves in. I wish I could throw TV sets off skyscrapers. I wish I was a ninja and could go kick someone's head off. I'm considering joining the military with Ben, Patrick, and Justin and be snipers with them. I wish I could stay home and cry tomorrow. I wish I could start a fight. I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs until I lose my voice.

Sometimes you have to let go
Accept the fate no matter how hard it is
Nothing that you say, nor how many tears you cry
Will ever change what the future will bring

I wish I could believe that. I wish I could accept what's happening.

The world is spinning round and round
Going in circles, down and down

Where's the damn silver lining? My parents think I'm being a bitch, I think I'm being a bitch, but I also think there's a good reason for my bitchiness. If they don't like it, screw it. I don't give a shit.

Fuck the world.

Those are my words for today. That is today's mantra. My new philosophy. Isn't it eloquent?

Bye.

For Every Waking Second I'm Drowning In Regrets

Deeply regretful
I should have listened when Mama said
To always count your friends
And never turn your backs on them

I have spent the past hour thinking about this post. That includes staring blankly at a wall, eating dinner, looking at the backyard, and taking a shower. Because I feel awful.

I have been so horrible for the past few days, especially today. I was so scared earlier because I couldn't feel remorse. Today, I probably ticked off more people and hurt more people than I ever have. And I didn't care. I couldn't feel anything besides dominance. Does that sound horrid? It is. I finally understand why bullies are able to keep going. They live in the moment, and don't think of the future. It's simply them and whomever they choose to terrorize. Lucky, or perhaps unlucky for me, I finally regained a conscious an hour ago.

It's nearly as bad as my former depression. All these horrible emotions just hit you like a brick wall, pushing out every other thought. There's this hollowness though, right in your chest, and it won't go away. Like you're missing a part of yourself.

I've spent years and years building up my self control (I always had a problem with acting on a whim) and managing my anger (bad tempers run in the family). I think the self-control wall broke today. It was as if everything I've learned about right and wrong simply disappeared and was replaced by this overwhelming urge for power. Even writing this makes me feel disgusted with myself.

So if anyone's reading this right now that I've been awful towards today or any of the past few days, I'm so sorry. I'm not sure if it's PMS or just me being a b*tch, but I'm so sorry.

Nothing Whatsoever

Finally, it's the second-to-last week of school. I realize most people are already out for summer and LUCKY YOU. I still have French Final parts 1 and 2 and Books of Hope, but then I'm free from school exams/projects. Then I will commence my "badness" and freely ditch classes to go and annoy Mr. Fones or Mr. Mandell. In a way, I want school to be out because I want to be free of some people (basically everyone in my chorus class) and because I won't have to procrastinate anything (my #1 skill). But I also don't want it to end because a lot of people won't be going to school with me next year. There's Andrew, Tyler, Grace, Amber, Jessica, and Patrick (maybe). Since I don't consider very many people to be my true "friends," that's a pretty good chunk of people. I'm also aware that many of you don't know who these people are. I can only hope that after Grace has her two-year stint in Italy that she'll move back here instead of to Japan. And that Patrick will choose his friends over baseball. And that Tyler will hate WHATEVER THE HELL HIS SCHOOL IS and come back. Because who wants to go into D.C. every day to go to school? Plus, who on Earth even knows what his school's name is?

And I'll be depressingly bored during my Virginia weeks. In Alabama I'll be at camp (which is never boring; mostly it's great except slightly depressing at times *cough* Jen *cough*). And in Wisconsin I'll have my family and my mom's side of the family forcing me not to be antisocial. They even make me go out on the boat. O_O In the sunlight. Around other people. Just kidding (my horror). But they do make me do that stuff; it's not enjoyable. Can't they see I'm perfectly happy with sitting around with my laptop and writing? I do NOT want to go hunting with Corey, or go drive some weird vehicle with Josh, or go and tan with Erin, or help Uncle Steve with manual labor, or help Aunt Laura cook. Or watch Sam, help Jack carry stuff, or talk to my parents. See? I'm basically no good at all. So just let me be. I also do not want to endure Josh's bashing of the bands I like and how all the guys in the afore mentioned bands are "band fags." Josh is in a band. When I called him a hypocrite, he gave me a weird look. I don't think he knows what it means.

Okay, I realize that none of my blog made much of any sense but whatever. Toodles!

~LazyLazyLazy

Je Ne Regrette Rien

"I am Jackyll when I'm Hyde.
I'm a demon locked inside.
I am restless when I sleep.
I'm the beauty and the beast..."

Oh, I love you, Strify. Screw the stupid computer filter because now I can't watch that song.... Can't wait for the new album!

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone's coming out with a new album? My Chemical Romance, Tokio Hotel, Cinema Bizarre, Linkin Park, et cetera. I'm so excited because this means that those groups are going to be going on tour for the new albums. The only one I'm kinda scared about is the Tokio Hotel one because of what's been going on with the twins lately. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then ignorance is bliss) and the songs may have Tom-influence (they have a "new sound"). Oh dear.

"I am Jackyll when I'm Hyde.
I'm a demon locked inside.
I am restless when I sleep.
I'm the beauty and the beast..."

I like this.

Hello

Hi everyone! Sorry about my post this morning; being grumpy is one of my worst times. You seriously do not want to be around me first thing in the morning. Anyways, I'm going to try and post a video because I need Brenda to see it. If it doesn't work, then screw it. If it does work...then I'll go and hide. It's using Movie Maker, so I have low hopes.

Some Bridges Burned, Some Pages Turned

Please take into account that I'm not being very pleasant this morning while you're reading my post. If I sound bitter, I'm probably just grumpy (but, mind you, these things are totally bothering me).

I've had a pretty miserable past few days, with the exception of last night (school dance). For starters, my parents decided that I can not go to Warped Tour. Now I get to listen to all my friends talk about the bands that are going to be there and after summer's over, I get to hear about how absolutely amazing it was. Yeah, that pissed me off just a little.

Second, I'm feeling even more detached from my friends than usual. I mean, I've always been the one that people like to make fun of, but it's been getting to me a lot more lately. Even little things they do really bother me.

Third, my parents are being way more clingy (for lack of a better word) for the past a week or so. They come into my room every five minutes and nag me about something-or-other. Then when I take the dog out or something they'll start yelling: "Why are you taking her out? It's raining, for God's sake! Go and do something useful!" Ugh.

Fourth, I'm pretty sure that I have a crush on someone, so I kinda want to shoot myself in the head. And hell no, I am not telling anyone who it is.

Well, enough of me being all bitter. On a happier note: I get an automatic 100 percent on my science final because we did this class competition thing. Also, I'm getting an award at the ceremony-thing on Wednesday. And then the dance last night was nice. Plus, I can use all this pissed-off-ness to go torment a character in my sequel now.

I am in such a mood; I don't know why. It's making quite addicted to MCR (I usually like them, but something's wrong when I can't stop listening to them) and Carrie Underwood. Weird combination.

~Bye

EDIT: The picture is a doodle I did yesterday