Your Voice Was the Soundtrack of My Summer

OK, so I'm getting very depressed because my chances of going to the Tokio Hotel concert are almost nothing my now. I swear, I am going to shoot something. Ahaaaaahhhhh I want Bill! :'( I don't wanna be stuck here while Bill is so close! I WILL WALK WALK THERE IF I MUST! How will I ever meet Bill if I can't go to the concert?! The title of my post says it all. Tokio Hotel was ALL I listened to unless I was forced to listen to something else.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Nau I'm getting sad. :( That is the song that describes kind of how I feel about Bill/Tokio Hotel and life in general I guess. It's such a beautiful song and really has meaning. I guess this post is taking a music-rant direction. Music is really what got me through a lot, before I came closer to two or three of my friends. I was really depressed early on in the year, probably starting in January. I hated myself, and everyone around me. Before, ya I would listen to music sometimes and I would say that I liked music, but that's when I really turned to music. Towards the end of the school year, I was so close to killing myself or cutting myself. Thank God for Tokio Hotel. Other people are like "Oh, why do you listen to them? They're so weird!". Tokio Hotel really saved my life. I cry whenever I listen to "Don't Jump/Spring Nicht" or the music video for those. And I found other music too that saved me. And after that, everything just fell into place. Two other people I was friends with realized what we were a part of. Then, over the summer, at camp I really had a moment of supreme realization. Even now, I have so many problems, especially with my family and people at school, I still have music. And the three people who really helped me. That's why my dream is to make it in the music industry. Not because I want to be famous, but because I want to be able to affect someone's life like other people have mine. I don't want to be really popular 9or at least that's not my goal) but I want to know that I helped one person. Even if it's just one. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a perfect life, with everything absolutely right; nothing wrong. What would I be like now if I hadn't had to leave everything behind every few years, if my life wasn't taken away so many times. If I hadn't decided to break away from society and basically all the people I at one point considered my friends. But if none of that had happened, I wouldn't have the dreams I do now, not the goals, the memories that play constantly every day. What had happened to me my entire life, and especially recently have brought me more happiness than a perfect life could. Yeah, I still get really depressed and other people would think that I'm really morbid, but nothing has felt so right in such a long time. Finally, I think I am where I belong. This is my place, right here with the people I have. They're not many in number, but they're more than what the most popular person has. And I wish that everyone could have what I have: something to live for. Something real. I live to prove I can; to show that nothing is too much. God gives us trials to prove ourselves, to prove that we deserve what he has in store for us. Never tell me that You gave up Nothing can change What you've been given Live until your last breath Love until your heart stops Make every moment worth it.